I could be a better person. I could show my kids and husband more love. I can work more hours and sleep less and just do more. I don't want to. Over the years I just feel like I've found my way out of wanting to do it all. I'm too tired, or too busy with the other stuff to find the want I need to have to do. Christmas is coming and it doesn't feel like it at all. There is no snow and no "Christmas" in the air. We are bitter and frustrated with life and the busy and can't find the happiness in the season either. I ache for my kids seeing two zombies walking around with no feelings and no happy. I'm hoping that the joy of visiting family will help us out of the downsies. I hope that too much time away won't make us want to give up on it all. We have a good life, but it's good for someone else. Our family hasen't found the good in it yet. Waiting on God to show us, or maybe waiting on us to see it. And all the other crap going on makes ...