Reasonable Resilience

Okay, I'm a mom of two and I raise my kids the best I can. I make choices that some others may not, and I keep my opinions of how others raise their kids to myself. Home Depot man, this is for you. I see those signs. I know what they say and even why you have them. I wouldn't want anyone to get hurt, ever. Especially my own kids. I enjoy home depot on occasion, depending on what we are going for. I think it's great that they have racecar carts and my kids really like them. On occasion we are buying wood and need a big barred cart to haul the wood around the store, you know the ones, right? I am a capable person. I know how to watch my kids, while some others in your store may not, although I do wonder if when we walk in the doors someone pushes a button that makes that recording about watching your kids come over the loud speaker...anyhoo. I read the words on your big rolly carts for wood and big items and I know that they say, DO NOT RIDE. But I am a mom, as I have already...

Yes this is our best Christmas Eve picture. We had the timer on and I thought it important to have Lucy, our dog, in the picture. Well, if you don't know Lucy I'll just say that she's a really sweet dog. We love her to bits, but, well, she's lucy. Yes I am holding her by the neck to try my darndest to drag her into the photo. You only have 10 seconds you know. Yes that is a milkbone in my right hand. She wanted it, but wasn't gonna get too close. Also, Noah thought it was hilarious that Lucy wasn't doing anything that I asked her to, so he kept watching to see what would happen next. I could have cropped her out, but what fun would that be? So here it is. Here we are. The Steinkes Oh and I thought you might like this one too. Merry Christmas.

(Grace's Nativity Finally with Baby Jesus in His Manger) Today has been another day. I'm not sure if or when Christmas Eve will feel like it used to. My family was always so busy on this day. Wrapping presents and getting ready to go to Grandma B's apartment. I looked forward to that like you wouldn't believe. I miss it, a lot. I miss family and I'm still not sure after two kids and almost 7 years of marriage if I'm ever going to be comfortable with what we do now for our Christmas celebration. This place isn't home for us and our chrch family isn't really family. A lot of friends and people we really love, but not like our Moms and Dads and siblings. I wish for all of you to feel blessed, as we do, and to relax in the although overwhelming, grace that was given to us this and ever year past and future. (Lucy LOVING her U of M/Christmas scarf, can't you tell?) Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Here's how it happens We're happily sitting at the newly brought up from the basement table... Noah decides that he wants to tell us something... so he does.

I think we may have found a solution to a problem I have. I can't seem to come to terms with cutting Noah's hair. I didn't have this problem with Grace. I thought, oh she's going to love this, it'll be fun for her and she will want to go to the salon with me and it'll be GREAT! But Noah, he's different. I think that as soon as I cut it, there's no going back. He'll be a big boy. I'll be the mommy of a big boy, not my baby boy. I'm still trying to think about how I'm going to do it, because this... ain't gonna work for long.

I don't have any pictures, but I have been reading a really good book. Do you know Jodi Picoult? Wow, some crazy good stuff comes from her, if you're into that type of reading. I'm reading "The Tenth Circle" and I cannot put it down. If you've read any of her books or know of any other authers like her let me know.

I know it took FOREVER, well more like two weeks, but here you go. I met the Mckfamily . This is Jennifer Mckinney and her little miracle Stellan . I have to say, I wondered, as I was standing under a bus stop overhang in the pouring freezing cold rain, whether this was worth it. I asked myself a few times what was I really going for? Well, let me start over. Eric and I went down to Atlanta GA. For an annual youth workers convention with our friends from church. The wives don't get registered, so we find "other" things to do. This year we walked A LOT, shopped a bit, rode a train, dealt with unruly hotel managers and I, met some pretty awesome new people, including Jennifer and her family, Shannon(thanks again for the picture), Kari, Malisa , and many others whose names escape me. We got to Atlanta on Thursday evening, pretty late. We had to ride the MARTA (Metropolitan Atlanta Rapid Transit Authority) and then walk to our hotel. When we got in, the odd (inside joke) bo...

I'm mad, I'm frustrated, I'm confused, I'm an adult? I'm a volunteer, I'm selfish, I'm a mom! I'm Kara. I can't be anyone else. I can't ask for anymore help. I have to do it myself and I don't want to. So?! You say. Yeah, what of it? I want something new. OR I want my new thing to be what my old was. I was comfortable back then, and I felt like people knew me, and LIKED me. Do I just need to move on from it, or is this really something I should strive for? my old comfort I don't dream of going back to grade school, or high school or college. I dream of the people, friends, responsibility, love. I NEED it If this is it from here on out.... WHAT THE %$@&!!

Hello. I've been here. I'm not going to say that I'm back, but I'm here for a moment. I read a new blog the other day. A blog written by a friend. He said that a blog is for people to read and be drawn in and come back because they are interested. Or something like that. Well, I agree, but disagree. My blog here, it's for me. Call me selfish but can you bloggers honestly say that your blog is ALL about the readers? Don't you type to "get it off your chest", or YOU think something's funny and post it for others to read? Or maybe you just like the thought of others commenting or having something in common with you. I think my blog is mine and that what YOU take from it is yours. I agree that I'm sharing with you so that you can take something and run, or leave it, whatever you choose. That part is all yours. But what I write, what I choose to share, well, just the fact that I log in and actually type something is mine! I'm not sure why it...

"And don't spend your time lookin' around For something you want that can't be found When you find out you can live without it And go along not thinkin' about it I'll tell you something true The bare necessities of life will come to you" I think they mighta had somethin' there

Okay, so I know I've been off the map here for awhile, but we've been busy. We went to Kentucky to the creation museum. Grace and Noah both had chickenpox. I had a cold, and then Eric and now Noah. Whew, I'm surprised I even got on here to do anything other than read what everyone else has been up to. Oh, I do continue to read, because you all keep me sane:) Eric and I just watched "The Bucket List". I liked it, even got Eric to cry. Men and their daughters will always hit him hard. Okay, well, I still don't have a lot to say other than this, Pray for Stellan and read this for thought: http://www.warmchocolatemilk.com happy now? It made me think about what I want, what I think I want and mostly about what I have.

For whatever reason blogger will not allow me to upload a video, so maybe you can all travel over to my facebook page and take a look.

I don't know much about the selection process. I don't claim to be a judge of selectees, but... maybe we could have waited until he was in office for oh, say, 12 months before putting him in the realms of Mother Teresa, Elie Wiesel, Desmond Tutu, and the Dalai Lama. I'm just sayin.

I couldn't resist posting this picture of Grace. A little mommy already. Yes those are pumps she's wearing. You know I always do the dishes in heels...Like mother like daughter;)

I've been forgetting what day it is. I think we need a break. I can't keep everything straight and I'm not good at keeping a planner. I need to start training myself to write things down and look at the plan for each day. Any suggestions for a non-planner needing to plan?

Have you seen this ? Maybe I should be a movie critic. I went through every possible emotion during this movie I can't even begin to explain it. How can you go through life feeling like you are in control ? There is no way to be in control . So this movie, it's, it's... great . I figured it out too. Eric , my husband, he's my exception . He isn't the rule . I guess you'll have to watch it, oh and let me know when you do because I will watch it with you. I heart movies. (I would make that little heart symbol if I could, but I honestly have no idea how to)

I've been watching our young neighbors pack up their little house much like ours and put everything they own in a Ryder truck to move just about 20 miles north. These young people have been living next to us for 4 of the 5 years we have lived in our house. They have seen both kids from the days we brought them home from the hospital and have become best friends with Lucy, our two year old lab (I think she might like them more than us but that's beside the point). This young couple keeps to themselves, but are friendly in conversation when we are playing outside with our kids and throwing Frisbees with Lucy . As I type they pull their belongings out of our little neighborhood and travel to their new home to unpack it all and start new and fresh. I don't know their names and am only sure that the young girl in a dental hygienist and her boyfriend works in a design field . The thing about them is that they aren't that young. They aren't much younger than us, the...

I would like to introduce you to the Barlow Girls. These girls are amazing and I have grown to love them. I only wish that this awesome christian music was available when I was young and impressionable. Maybe I wouldn't have been jaded by Alanis and Fiona ( but who doesn't enjoy a little scream fest now and again? GIRLS RULE!) The music that comes forth from these three is something I could only wish to be able to produce. If you would today, or someday when you have time go to their website here and take a look around. Read the About section and find some insipring news about the songs on their new album Love & War. They started out gearing their music towards younger audiences, but have found that mothers, fathers and the like are relating to their meaningful words. I hope that you will take some time and look. You can listen to their entire album on the love & war music player. Here are my favs: Beautiful Ending Our Worlds Collide Love is Marching Time for You to G...

Update: If you came to read about hating Mckmama I will just send you here to tell you how I feel Let's be HONEST! _______________________________________ Okay, so I found out that when searching google for mckmama or mckmama haters you find my blog. What the? I just thought I would mention that my intention is not to hate on or even really to have that much of an opinion on the issue. I thought it important to say that I'm not a mckmama basher and that I actually really like reading her blog and reading on the blogfrog as well. I think maybe people could be swayed in one direction when searching something and not really knowing the whole story or reading further into the writers posts.There was one post that aired my feelings of being upset by something that I read on mckmamas blog, but as a woman and a mother I can say that my emotions can get the best of me at times and that I have turned a corner and know that I'm not alone in my decision...

Here I am once again reading one of my usual blogs The Extraordinary Ordinary and Heather has done it again, taken words right from my heart and thrown them on a blog page. So I'll lead you there and hope that for you it feels the same. I love my past , wish I hadn't made any mistakes but I really did learn from them and I really hope my future surpasses it. http://theextraordinaryordinary.blogspot.com/

Are you ready for some football ? I don't think I'm quite ready this year, but we put out our Michigan flag last night and we're planning on watching the game today. Notre Dame just might go down. Here's hoping, otherwise it makes for a grumpy husband . This is what I'm ready for. Here's to you Maize and Blue . Now for a cheer they are here, triumphant! Here they come with banners flying, In stalwart step they're nighing, With shouts of vict'ry crying, We hurrah, hurrah, we greet you now, Hail! Far we their praises sing For the glory and fame they've bro't us Loud let the bells them ring For here they come with banners flying Far we their praises tell For the glory and fame they've bro't us Loud let the bells them ring For here they come with banners flying Here they come, Hurrah! (chorus) Hail! to the victors valiant Hail! to the conqu'ring heroes Hail! Hail! to Michigan The leaders and best! Hail! to the victors valiant Hail! to...

It's one of those days today. I forgot to take off my slippers this morning so I'm in that, you know, still sleeping not motivated, and definately not ready for the day. I've cried today for us. I thought for a moment that it was for me, but I really don't think so. I am sad for us. I know the kids don't care. They have faith like children, no pun intended. I'm sad for people who get shot in front of schools for being "over the top" and I'm sad for people who think it's okay that these people die. I'm sad for people who argue about who's right and who's wrong. Who's left and who's right. I'm not out of the loop I know because I have opinions, but am I sad because I'm not one to shout them from the rooftops? I'm sad that Grace isn't running into my arms when she comes home and telling me all about her day, although I know that's just not her style, mine either. I'm sad that I don't know how to make...

Okay , I'll catch you up. We had fun, until the end there we had a blast. Alone time at the cabin in Big Rapids was what we needed. Eric and I sat, read from our Love & Respect book, talked about it. We played 20 questions and I found out Eric is not very good at it (hee hee) After about an hour we were asking ourselves what we should do . We searched for cards, board games, anything. I guess they weren't joking when they said peaceful, quiet surroundings. The silence was deafening . I'm not sure I've been someplace that quiet, ever! We had family fun with the Steinkes on Sunday afternoon, I even tubed off the back of the boat. Monday on this Labor Day 2009 we had pancakes thanks to the Muskegon Lions club . "Grandpa's a lion?" Well...yes actually he is a lion and a great one at that. Lots of candy from very nice older men who didn't know that one of the other older gentlemen had already come by our part of the plastic covered picnic table...tw...

As Labor day approaches I am thrown into thoughts of my "job". Funny how I cannot say job without thinking of paranthesis. Do I work? I have a feeling everyone would say that yes, in fact you do work Kara. Anyone who thinks otherwise wouldn't have words to explain how I don't work therefore they wouldn't tell me even if they thought it. Eric and I are taking a break from work this weekend. We get a night away from our jobs. Eric is honestly excited about it. We aren't going to an event with no kids, we aren't going to a family function with no kids or even a wedding with no kids, we're just going...with no kids. I couldn't sleep last night and I'm pretty much done packing for a night with family (ies), then tomorrow, it's for us. It's been a LONG time since it was about us and our marriage and maybe talk about where we're going and where we've been. We're working on 7 years of marriage and I'm hoping the best are to come...

You know how after two days with the same fly in your house it starts to feel like a friend? "Good morning fly, how was your night?" "I'm sure you found Noah's leftovers under his chair that I was too tired to pick up appetizing." "Oh and yes, Grace's juice that spilled on the floor by the couch, yes I did have you in mind when I gave up wiping when the towel wouldn't reach that far." "I'm sure in a few minutes when Noah wakes and Grace askes for a drink you will be very thankful for their messes." buzz off

I have been alone for the night. Eric went up north with the highschool kids to kick off their new season. I was supposed to go because I'm hoping to be involved with more youth events this year and in the years to come. Eric and I both think that my involvement will help me deal with the long hours and the emotionally charged conversations we have about his job. I hope it works. Anyway, I wasn't able to go because we have children. Let me restate that. We have children and no family or friends nearby who can or will care for them. I understand our friends who have kids and cannot really add two more for good measure, I wouldn't want to impose on them anyway. I hate living away from family. Let me restate that too. I hate feeling like I'm just getting used to living away from family. Eric said the other day that when he's done with his schooling that anything can happen. Other churches out of state can start calling and you never know where we might end up. What? ...

Have you thought of this? Do you live IN the world, or do you live OF the world? Have you succumed to the ways of the world and feel like you can't pull yourself back? OR Do you live in this world and see what goes on and know that's not what you want for you or your family and CHOOSE to be an example for you children and set an example for the rest of the world. And are there moments where you may think, ummmm, why am I doing this? sure, you'll have that, but COME BACK!!. Know that you are placed here for a reason and that reason may only be seen by one person or maybe two little sets of eyes and ears that hear and see everything, but those little sets can learn from you and be IN this world and not OF it. They need to know, they need to see and LIVE! I hope God doesn't smite me for my words, and I know I could be a bit "liberal" for some (I would have never thought that of myself)but why wouldn't I want to be outside of my "community" making di...

BE NICE! I'm sick of saying this and I don't see the end in site.

When life gives you blueberries... make yummy blueberry coffee cake... and then a blueberry pie... I wish it was always so easy, right? I'm sitting in the kitchen with my 1 year old at 2:20am thinking about what I'm going to do with all these berries, not just the blue ones. Lifes berries, God's berries. You know, the ones He hands you and says, "take good care". Or that good one about not eating it, or else... Deciding what to do with my "berries" has me in a pickle. We've been doing God's work, or at least we think we have and I'm feeling like we've given up on making pies and coffee cake out of our OWN berries, the ones we picked ourselves. (let me know if you're lost) What I mean is that our life has become somewhat of a struggle for me, and Eric too. Where will He send us, how much of this is for learning purposes, why here? Eric is doing class work to finish up his schooling hopfully by next April and I've been hel...

You're there. I have words but am scared to use them at times. Am I "free" to say what I want? I had a dream last night and I told two people. I would like to tell all of you, but I geta funny sick feeling whenever I think about it. I thought maybe talking about it would help. I think I was wrong. This is Eric, he caught 5 of those fish. It's really the first time he's ever been fishing to catch something. He spent $28 on a fishing license and thinks he may have caught enough to cover the cost. I asked him if he'll go again in the next year and he doesn't think he will. Let's find this man a hobby! Anyone have any salmon recipes? I don't have any opinions today, oh wait, yes I do. Why is it that you can tell someone that you don't want to be a part of something but they always come back and you always end up doing it anyway? People tell me and I tell Eric all the time that we need to learn to "say no". Why would I say no when I ...

I was reading this blog last night and I really couldn't say it any better myself so, go here .

I'm taking a break. I've been cleaning because people are coming over. How do you train yourself to got motivation to KEEP your house clean? I'm up for any ideas. I would love to have a routine or something that allows me to do a little everyday and not a lot one day. I guess I just answered my own question. But with two kids, lots of laundry, even more dishes and a job it seems daunting. In other news, this weekend is the big camping to Manistee! We are preparing to leave on saturday morning and return home on wednesday afternoon. Eric's going to be fishing, although he informed me that he might not get up at 5 am every morning to fish the day away. Ha Ha, I think the "fun" of it will wear off about 5:15 sunday morning. We'll see.

What was I thinking? Leonardo, Kate. Titanic was a hit right? So I rented this movie, Revolutionary Road. We hadn't rented in a very long time and I thought, hey it's cheaper than going to see a movie, getting babysitters are expensive these days. Well, I knew it would be rough but I got it anyway. Eric was not happy. At one point he asked if he could have my headphones to listen to his laptop instead of the movie. I'll just say this. If you're at a point in your marriage were you could go one of two directions, one good, one bad, don't rent this flick! It's real, it's hard to watch. Luckily for Eric and I, we aren't at that place, we never have been and I hope we won't ever get there. Now, it's 4am and I'm sitting at the kitchen table with my little boy thinking, I really shouldn't have watched that movie because I could have gone to bed earlier in preperation for this night. If you have seen it, or you do let me know what you think.

So, yesterday I found out that there are people out there that think that MckMama is a fraud. I found out as much info as I could and decided they are all jerks. I'm going to keep reading and take from it what I want. I don't care where she lives, what car she drives if her house is in forclosure or how she decides to spend her money. Also, what's the big deal with people sending her family money and gifts. She says flat out in her blog that they don't want the gifts and would rather people send them to children other than Stellan even if he really is sick in the hospital and they could use help with money. Some people are just out to start an argument and I don't see the good in it. If you don't want to read, then don't. Leave them ALONE!

Sister, Brother, friends

So, we had our small group tonight and we had fun. I feel like it's been awhile since we relaxed as we did tonight. I felt like it took some time to get the house in order, we did travel down to Gregory (Ann Arbor) for a little boy birthday party, and we didn't get to use our new picmic table as Grace refers to it. Our family here in Saginaw isn't like our relatives, or even our friends elsewhere, but we can laugh, and we can talk about "deep" issues that we wouldn't otherwise discuss. I love this family And finally we learned that we love Guitar Hero

I've been dealing with these thoughts all day long. I'm not having a very great day, but cannot really explain why. I'm sad, but happy to see my children laugh at each other. I'm mad, but am so delighted to listen to Grace say, "I'm just gonna put soap on her ponies and tails." I am reeling over this Stellan McKinney story. I cry at the drop of a hat. I took the kids to play at the playground and it rained. I cried. I cannot help but put myself in Jennifer McKinneys place. What would I do. Who would I want to talk to about it? She talks to ALL of us. Would I do that? I'm not sure I could. I think I'll be reading more of MckMama and trying not to judge how she does things, or wonder if she would be my friend if we lived near each other. I'll leave it at a blog friendship, pretty one sided, but still. I'm praying for her and her family and her little boy. My little children are in the tub as I type having a grand ol time. Here are a couple pi...

I'm praying for Stellan. He's hurting. His family is hurting. And it all makes me hurt.

So I know it was a year ago, but seriously? This is something that makes me physically ill. Can you think back with me. Your prom...did your parents tell you you couldn't dance with someone of another race? Did they say, "you may not TALK to people of another race"? Or was it that you may not even go to the same building that they were in? So let's have 2 proms, one for you...and one for "them" Maybe you don't agree but I am really surprised that this still exists. I wonder how this years prom went... This is a little aside if you will (if there were no black people at our prom it wouldn't have been as much fun) I watched this show and thought...that looks like our prom. How have they been doing this for 38 YEARS!! Charleston High School I'm gonna do a little victory dance for you. I hope your towns views have changed.

I'm a bad girl, You're a bad girl We are all bad girls. We are reading this for our women's bible study and I'm really liking it. I become a little offended on occasion when we talk about how "bad" the girls are and seemingly over look the faults of the men. I know it's called "Bad Girls of the Bible" but come on. I'll just say this, if there were a book about all the bad guys in the bible it would be bigger than the bible itself.

We got Noah a toothbrush today. He chewed on the package all the way home and when he got it out of the package proceeded to brush his hair with it. We went inside and I found Graces training toothpaste. A dab on the brush and into Noah's mouth. Eyes wide and a smile reaching his lips and he was in heaven. He didn't take the toothbrush out of his mouth until I got the milk ready to drink before bed. These are the pictures I got of the two "big" kids brushing their teeth. note-I may or may not have heard Noah go into the kitchen at one point and dip his brush into Lucy's water dish. They say dog's mouths are cleaner than humans right?

I will get to it...I promise???

Sooo, I feel bad because I didn't get anything for Eric for fathers day, his 4th year as a father and I couldn't find anything. I looked for tires for the car, but didn't want to spend 500 dollars. So even though when purchasing this it wasn't intended to be for fathers day I think he kinda likes it. Mario Kart fun Grace can play Noah can smuggle her chocolate milk and I can have fun watching it all happen

I get the blog title now, but I'm not sure you are quite as ranty as I am right now. Pediatrician I'll say that first and you'll know you're really in for it. Called this morning to get Noah's ears checked from the last infection (he's been tugging a bit so I thought, eh you know) The nurse says "we have an opening for 1:35 pm", me "do you have anything earlier?" nurse says "No, all booked" So the plan is, We ALL go to the doctor, ears checked, my friend Patti picks me up at the office and we go to our girls movie (I can't miss that) We are on our way at 1:20 after waking noah from an early nap so we can get into this only available appointment(early even). I'm looking through my wallet for the health savings account card, find an appointment card for Noah for 1050 am on June 29th... huh? He was sceduled for his 15 month appt TODAY! The woman at the desk said, well if the girl who makes the calls is sick, the calls don't...

I'm outa here This was meant to be Lucy's pool, but Noah thought it suited him. Off with the hat Meanwhile back in the big pool Grace is turning into a mexican We are having a fun summer. Hope you are too.